The whole she-Bangkok

Life is full of extremes.  Sometimes you find yourself on a rickety overcrowded Thai bus with no air conditioning for 3 plus hours, dust and fumes pouring through the open windows and burning your retinas.  Other times you end up poolside at a swanky hotel, sharing beers and laughs with two gay French guys at an intercity oasis of sorts.  These are a just a couple of the things that I've experienced during my extended stay here in the capital city of Thailand. 

As you may recall, I had plans to travel south and visit some of the beautiful beaches that this country is so well known for.  Unfortunately, those plans were cancelled due to rain a.k.a. the dumbest weather condition ever.  So after that happened I toyed with the idea of traveling north to the mountains to do some trekking and other outdoorsy things.  But as I sat down and tried to reformulate my itinerary, I found that my head was about to explode from all the time spent planning.  If you ever have to take a quiz about me (which is highly likely) and one of the questions asks you to list my 3 least favorite things in life, remember this: 1) Felt - just typing the word makes my skin crawl.  2) Making plans - spontaneity is so much cooler.  3) Polite laughter - when someone isn't funny but you have to fake that they are so things aren't super awkward.  Honorable mentions: the Baltimore Ravens, "A Walk to Remember", and people who don't yield to pedestrians at clearly marked crosswalks. 

So aside from felt, planning is my most hated thing in life.  This presents a bit of a challenge as jaunting around the world seems to require a fair bit of organized scheduling.  Obviously planning life changing adventures in exotic places is much more fun than planning business meetings in conference rooms, so please don't interpret this as a tale of woe.  Mostly what I'm trying to say is that I got a bit burnt out on the daily decisions of where I wanted to go and what I wanted to see and which hostel would be the best value and what mode of transport would get me from Point A to Point B the quickest and so on and so forth.  So with that in mind, I decided that I'd forgo any grand plans and just hang around Bangkok spending an extended period of time getting to know the city and the culture.  I decided early on that I'll be back in Thailand at some point in my life so the pressure to pack a bunch of touristy activities in was lifted.  So I've spent the past week moseying around different parts of town and pretending that I live here.  I'm happy to report that it's been a fantastic decision.  I feel as though I've been able to capture at least a tiny bit of the essence of the city and its inhabitants.  Being in one spot for an extended period of time allows for experiences that you just can't get in a couple of days.  I know the train system like the back of my hand.  Every time I leave the hostel in the morning, I share a wave and smile with the policeman who guards the building across the street.  The friendly woman at the corner coffee shop knows my order before I even open my mouth.  I joke with the fruit vendors outside the train station who greet me with shouts of "America!" and  "Obama!"  I wander aimlessly, listen attentively and observe thoughtfully.  On the surface, it's just a big urban sprawl of skyscrapers and consumerism, but underneath all of that lies a wonderfully rich culture built on ancient customs and time honored traditions.  So I'm more than happy that my best laid plans got totally shit on.  I guess rain isn't so bad after all.

This might not look that awesome, but believe me it is.  It don't know what its called because the menu I ordered it off of was written in Thai and I just pointed to a picture of something that looked good (and not really like this at all).  Anyways, it had rice noodles and minced pork and herbs and a poached egg and roasted peanuts and a spicy broth that made my nose run and my heart sing.

One of the greatest things about Southeast Asia is the abundance of fresh fruit everywhere.  Street vendors offer a crazy selection so its a great way to try new things.  This is a half eaten bag of jackfruit that cost approximately 30 cents. 

Thumbs up to fresh fruit and idiocy!

I'm rich, bitch!  Not really though.  That's 2500 baht which is approximately 82 US dollars.  That bespectacled man is Bhumibol Adulyadej a.k.a. Rama IX a.k.a. the current King of Thailand.  He has reigned since 1946 which makes him the longest serving current head of state as well as the longest reigning monarch in Thai history.  His picture can be found on all banknotes.  I wonder if he regrets not smiling for his portrait.

One day I decided to go on an adventure.  So I made my way to Erawan National Park to see cool stuff.



Erawan Waterfalls consist of 7 different tiers of ridiculously impressive scenes like this. 



One time when I was living with my parents my dad told me that I had to earn my keep and do some chores around the house.  That seemed fair enough so I asked him what he wanted me to do.  He then proceeded to tell me that the forest floor was looking messy and that I needed to go around and pick up all the sticks and make it look more presentable (note: we're not talking about picking up sticks in the yard here...we're talking picking up sticks in the middle of the freakin woods).  So anyways, I never thought anyone could have a more asinine task than that...but then I saw these two cats.  Tucked away in an area 20 feet from the path, diligently sweeping the forest for no reason in particular.  I'll never understand the logic, but I'm sure my dear old dad is reading this somewhere and wiping away a tear of joy.  So this one's for you, you silly old bastard!

Here we come, walkin down the street, we get the funniest looks from everyone we meet...

Baby monkey suckin on the teat.  Still not sure whether this is cute or creepy.

More waterfall awesomeness

There were lots of overweight Russians in Speedos everywhere.  So that only added to the beauty of the surroundings.

Many of the big older trees along the path are adorned with clothes, ribbons, flowers and other random decorations that Thai people leave as gifts to the spirits of the trees.

More crappy waterfalls

In order to get to Erawan Falls I had to take a few buses.  This was the local bus from Kanchaniburi to Erawan.  There are no marked stops along the way, so the bus driver just honks his horn as he approaches different intersections and people come racing out of their houses to hop on.  There are also lots of random stops made to pick up supplies from one person and deliver them to another person a few miles down the road.  The Port Authority has nothing on this system.

Dashboard decorations

Who has two thumbs, a busted big toe and is in desperate need of a pedicure?  This girl!  I was wandering around the Southern Bus Terminal, lethargic from a 3 hour ride on a hot and stuffy bus when I tripped over a deadly sewer grate and lost a little chunk of skin.  So that was a nice and bloody way to wrap up the day of adventure. 

Erawan Shrine, one of the most popular Hindu shrines in Thailand.  It was built in 1956 to appease the supposed evil forces that were taking the lives of construction workers and causing other calamities in the construction what is now the Grand Hyatt Erawan. The misfortunes were said to be caused by starting the construction on an unfavorable date. After the shrine was erected, construction deaths stopped and the hotel became prosperous.

Worshippers pay their respects with incense, flowers and candles.  Debbie Downer Alert: In 2006, a mentally disturbed man took a hammer to this shrine and was subsequently beaten to death by angry bystanders.  Depressing story, but an illustration of how important this shrine is to the people.

Just outside the gate to the shrine, you can buy a cage full of birds for a few hundred baht.  According to Buddhist principle, by releasing these birds back into the wild you are "making merit" and clearing the slate for any previous indiscretions.  Or something like that.

One day I was walking around Bangkok sweating my ever loving face off.  So I decided to find the nearest hotel and inquire about paying a nominal fee to use their facilities.  As I approached my target, I decided to be a total bad ass and try my hand at sneaking in.  I played it real cool like, pretending to talk on my cell phone while waiting for the perfect moment when the front desk lady's head was turned and a hotel guest was getting on the elevator.  Channeling 007, I pulled this maneuver off with surprising aplomb.  And just like that, I was on the rooftop enjoying the fruits of my sneaky labor.

 

This is what a criminal mastermind looks like.

That's Charles, one half of the gay French couple that became my new best friends for the afternoon.  We bonded over cold jugs of Chang beer and the 5-song play list that the resident poolside DJ kept playing on repeat.  Quite the eclectic mix, consisting of the following: We Are the Champions - Queen, Zombie - The Cranberries, It's My Life - Bon Jovi, In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins, and Country Roads - John Denver.  In an astonishing twist, all the guys working at the pool knew every single word to Country Roads.  So I guess I can officially cross "Listening to a bunch of Thai dudes sing about West Virginia at a rooftop bar in the middle of Bangkok" off my bucket list.

It certainly doesn't suck.

Ok kids, that's about all I've got for you now.  One more full day in Bangkok and then off to London town on Tuesday evening.  After much deliberation I have decided to go with the London to Greece to Italy to Croatia plan.  Many thanks for those of you who weighed in with your thoughts and suggestions.  So I guess the next time I update this thing I'll be in Europe.  I predict big things.

Keep on keepin on, my friends!